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December 22, 2010 / Astor ICS

Meeting People and Your Success

When meeting people for the first time, are you comfortable? You should be. This one starting event can give you a unique picture of yourself and a powerful image to develop.

How do you come across? Friendly? Sophisticated? Stand-offish? Your initial contact with someone sets the tone for the future. It’s something that we should consider and develop, if we want to be effective and position ourselves the way that could work best for us in the future.

The first meeting begins a ‘personal branding’ process. We have begun to place ourselves in the mind of the other person and whether we can move to the next level with them.

My question to you is, what do you want? By this I don’t mean what things do you want or what things to you want them to do (or not do) for you. I mean, what do you want to set up?

To create a feeling in the other person of your excellent qualities you may want to consider a powerful balance of your behavior. Having a grounded yet outreaching style can give the impression of being interesting and interested. People enjoy being intrigued by new acquaintances and that’s what leads them to more desire for further contact.

I try to consider my words and their implications when I meet new people. Since they don’t know my style yet, it’s easy for me to be misinterpreted. I met someone recently who said, ‘I moved so much that I don’t make friends anymore, just business contacts’. Now, if my understanding of the word ‘friends’ is different than that of the speaker, then I could think that they are hard, cold, indifferent and closed to all friendship possibilities. That may be true, but may not be true. I could mirror their style back at them and the whole thing could end in one very large misunderstanding.

This is just a little example, but you probably see my point. It’s easy to be misunderstood at the first meeting.

What do you do to be clearer and more effective? It may be best to have a more center of the spectrum type of approach. No heavily extreme phrases that can be misconstrued. It’s also a good idea to have an open air about you so you can give the impression of being receptive to the words of the other person. Reacting to the moment is very powerful and shows that you are with them now and not programmed to behave in a way that makes them feel generic and irrelevant.

You may want to consider your ‘kindness level’. Having a friendly attitude and a pleasant tone along with your expertise and insights will bring you closer to a better contact than most anything else.

The question comes back to, what do you want.? If you examine it closely and honestly, you may be a bit surprised to realize that you are not always projecting that.

One must be careful not to be either deceptive or self-deceptive in these issues, because it will be discovered and a possible excellent relationship can be ruined and you may create a negative reputation for yourself that will prevent you from gaining the allies, tools and space that is needed for future successes.

And not just the future, your present happiness will find its way to a more somber and negative expression.

When you meet someone, really meet them and see how big your own personal universe actually is.

Contact me at Astor ICS for any help in first encounters that you may need.

 

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